My story


Why?

"That is the question most people ask me. Most people will never understand, because they are not me. Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong.

The story behind my transformation and my dreams.

Often people ask me, "what happened that made you go to this extreme"? The truth is  - nothing, really. I was just born with a creative  mind and a big confidence in myself. I always knew I could do exactly what I wanted in life. I just didn't know what that was.

I grew up with my mom, dad, and bigger sister in a small but beautiful town in Sweden. We didn't travel to foreign countries too much; instead my mom and dad made sure to surround us with other things: nature, pets, horses, boats, camping life, winter sports, vehicles of every kind, and a beautiful home. I can honestly say I have been fortunate to try more things than most people get to try growing up. Someone once said to me "you've tried everything, and you're good at everything you do, but there's nothing you stick to and become great at.". That was so true. I had not yet found what I wanted to build my life around. Or actually i had i just was not able to implement it because I did not know in what end to start.

Growing up I always felt a bit like the ugly duckling--not because I disliked my body, but because I didn't feel like I fit in with my surroundings. Since i was 4 years old i knewsome where in the back of my head i wanted to be a mix between  an artist, actor, model, dancer and comedian. I always loved being on stage and i love making people happy and laugh. You now may think I was the loud girl in school, but i was not, i was actually quite the opposite. Around other people i have always been shy and a bit withdrawn. How ever do not mistake my shyness for lack of confidences, I always knew i could go to the moon if i wanted to. But i did not interest me, nothing where i was suppose to have a teacher, judges or follow rules, have never interested me. There are followers and there are leaders.  Then there is the people who just walk were their inspiration takes them, and that have always been me. 

My small town i come from have never been big enough for me, my passion and creativity found no purpose here. I always knew i wanted to be somewhere else where my dreams could come true. The more i adapted to the life in my hometown the unhappier and more lost i got. The anxiety and frustration was building up over years and made me heavily depressed. I tried all different kinds of sports, projects and jobs but everything felt like killing time. To not feed the trolls all to much lets say lets say i learned that you are never as strong as when we are at our weakest point. When you feel like you have nothing to lose that when you fully embrace change.